Grandma’s in the yard cutting bushes… and she cuts the phone line.

Dad: What's the Second Amendment?
Me: **whips out a copy of the Constitution** The right to bear arms.

Laughing sooo hard at this because it’s me so bad… whoops


6. “That Masshole just cut me off!”

The “Masshole” takes pride in his aggressive and illegal driving habits. The King of Road Rage, he drifts between lanes with reckless abandon, tailgates hard, is too cool to use turn signals, and has demonstrated an inability to yield, merge, observe road signs and speed limits, and function like a human being behind the wheel of a car.

Read more:

I go to look at the appointment book today at work and all I see in the 2:30 spot is “LOBSTERS”

Team Jake

My friend Jake was diagnosed with Aplastic Anemia over a year ago, and this Thursday he is getting a life saving bone marrow transplant. He’s had chemotherapy and anti-thymocyte globulin (ATG) for 3 days and tomorrow will be his last chemo before his transplant.

It’s been a very difficult year+ for him but that kid is still smiling and so positive and can’t wait to get his life back. It’s not going to be easy, none of this has been easy, but in time he will be feeling well again.

I just ask that anyone who may see this post please pray for Jake and send him positive thoughts over the next few days and if you remember, the next few months. Let’s make Team Jake even just a little bit bigger. Thanks guys. <3